small claims court schedule

8AM...Man claims he got sick eating stale beef jerky purchased in a gas station vending machine.

9AM...Attorney General of The United States Of America seeking unknown damages/guilt of foreigner masterminding World Trade Center destruction.

10AM...Woman seeking damages caused by next door neighbor's dog pooping on her lawn.

And remember...if you have a dispute with somebody, don't take the law into your own hands: YOU take 'em to COURT!