gift return
'Next'.
'I would like to return this sweater'.
'By all means, Madam. Do you have a receipt?'.
'Why yes, yes I do'.
'And for our purposes only, why are you returning said item'?
She leaned in close. Whispering, 'Because it's too large. I cannot reach the straw'.
'Straw?'
'You see. Here', barely audible and pointing, 'I cannot reach the straw from this portal'.
'Oh, we can't have that', he whispered sarcastically. He pressed a large red button hidden behind the return counter's chromed edge with a fat calloused index finger and smiled a yellow toothy grin. The creaking floor gave way, a blur of heavy overcoat, leather purse, flashy jewelry, and knit-capped hair(she just had it done!), plunging and screaming into darkness, witnessed by a winding line of horrified gift reject whisperers. I dropped the ebook reader, snug in its styrofoam, and ran out with the other quiet people, single file and orderly, running straight home, breathless, to Tom Joad, Walter Mitty, Kilgore Trout, and all my other faithful friends.
photo by Vincent Fournier
posted by phil at 1:30 PM
11 Comments:
oh my - I'd be running back to Walter Mitty also! Good one!
Wildly creative comment. Good to see Tom Joad again; did he ever make it to California? :-)
Hahaha - long ago, in another life, I worked retail. I'd have given a lot for a button like that. What a fun write.
You launched a Willy Wonka visual in my mind! Down the hatch you go, ungrateful child! Except for you Charlie, our golden boy.
Really inventive take on the prompt. And I think my sister would like it. She works retail.
;)
HAHA I bet a lot of us wish we had a button like that! Thanks for the fun read.
That's hilarious! When I worked in Human Resources I would have LOVED to have a button like that :)
I knew it. I've always been afraid of interrogations at the returns desk.
Tom Jode and Walter Mitty are my friends, too...
Tapocketa tapocketa tapocketa...
Yes, i went straight down the chute !
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