the morgue

Lindsay Lohan being sentenced to the HAM(Hospital and Morgue) program seems a little stiff to me. I know - there's 2 jokes there already. I'll let 'em pass. I sincerely hope it makes a difference in her life so she doesn't join the newly formed Dead Before 30 club with Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger.

I believe it might work, because Lohan admitted once on the Tonight Show to being scared easily. Of course, we all react differently. Me? Whilst making a delivery to the local Pathology Lab and Slab recently I made a wrong turn down a unfamiliar hallway and found myself lost. Backtracking the wrong way into deeper dark brick tunnels lit by buzzing dim neon lights, I ran smack dab into a stretcher with a partially unzipped body bag. Just the outline of a body with those feet jutted out at 45 degree angles was enough to...well, you can guess.

Anyway, I hope that visit, along with the ER experience, shocks her to the point where her hair metamorphoses back to that beautiful red again, back to a time when her movies made my young niece happy....with her membership revoked from any deadly club...and she can die of old age instead.