magpie matchbox murder

Yeah, just follow me on this. You could not have possibly shown up at a better time. Sit down, shut up, I'll pour you one. Ok, go ahead and warm your hands by the fire, but you have to hear me out. Just this - while I'm down on one knee searching, I swear, this magpie comes walking up to me from beyond this lone willow tree on the western hills carrying this odd box of fire sticks. I seen it I thought it was a small block of wood, ok? Must've got confused and thought it was an acorn. Yes yes, they'll eat anything. Stop rolling your eyes and drink up. Here's my theory: The guy started the fire ablaze with a match from that box you see on the table. He runs from the crime scene, he's not going to hang around and turn over the corpse for some Julia Child even baking crimmy, footprints show he ran towards the field, dammit, it was night, he trips, loses the matches. Look: the fine print here on back - they come 40 to a box, there are 37 left. It all fits, like Jimmy Durante and inka dinka doo. Shut up. No, if the dog really dislikes you she'd put her teeth all the way into your shoe. How the hell do I know where effing Bratislava is it don't matter. I'll bet you we're talking a foreign jobby though. The tv said the victim was European and so did the Times. Give me your glass. No! Don't light your cigar with that match from the evidence! I'm sorry, come back, I have another theory if you'd like.