Wednesday, June 11, 2014

the missing tape



I have this tape. Thee Tape. 18 and half infamous minutes. Nixon. Tell no one. Listen:

This is one minute in:

Dean: I can get it for you.
Mitchell: Does it have a scope?
Haldeman: G--D-----, they all come with scopes.
Nixon: F---. We only want to deport Lennon. Um, not kill him.
Ehrlichman: We have other problems, Mr. President.
Nixon: What? Ringo?..for crying out loud. S---.
[sound of ice cubes hitting bottom of empty glass]


You want me to go on? OK. Here, about 9 minutes in:

Mitchell: S---.
Dean: No one will know. Ten thousand silent dollars. I can cut the check now.
Nixon: S---. I'm glad my mother isn't around..you know..[pause]She was a saint.
Mitchell: Mr. President.
[silence. unknown throat clears. distant clock can be heard ticking, and two chimes. President starts to weep]
Nixon: G-- D-----, all over my shirt. F---, my glass is empty.


Get this. 14 in:

Mitchell: [singing]ooga chuka ooga chuka!
Nixon: Hell, Mitch, no. Wrong song. Not reggae s---. John, the one you were singing last week?
Dean: [timid singing] Hey, won't ya play, another somebody done somebody wrong song.
Nixon: That's it! Go!
Ehrlichman: Mr President!
Dean: Shut up. He wants to hear it.
Ehrlichman: You little piece of..
Dean: Just because you have more hair on your chest..
[sound of scuffling]
Nixon: Boys! Boys!
Dean: Let me up!
Nixon: I'm deleting this s---. For good. G-- D-----, this is the Oval Office!


No. Wait. I know. Listen how it ends:

Nixon: John, you stand by Mitch. Bob, over here. Now. Again.
Everyone: [singing off key, hesitatingly] Sometimes. Sometiiiiimes I feel like a motherless child...


G-- D--- amazing.

5 Comments:

Blogger Phil R. said...

Good one!!!!

6/11/2014 1:26 PM  
Blogger Berowne said...

I always wondered what was on the tape for those missing minutes. Well done.

6/11/2014 6:37 PM  
Blogger Tess Kincaid said...

Was he playing the piano, too, Phil?

6/14/2014 3:42 PM  
Blogger phil said...


Yes, Tess, and a gun shot can clearly be detected. ;)

6/14/2014 6:02 PM  
Blogger ~T~ said...

If that's what they do in the oval office, I'd love to hear a Camp David sing-along!

6/26/2014 2:33 PM  

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