Thursday, January 31, 2008

a thousand miles from home

The Proclaimers - (I'm Gonna Be)500 Miles

Peter, Paul, and Mary - 500 Miles (1964)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

une fille

another story from one of Hervé's magnificent drawings....

Excerpts of found diary from Unknown, penciled in shaky hand.

June 3rd.

Fourth day since abandoned by escorts. Bastards. Food low. Black berry-like ‘fruit’ found yesterday edible with night sweats. No hallucinations, except one. Golden creature in tree?

June 4th.

Awoke propped on elbow with snake at eye level. Backed away slowly from my berry bad breath? Deeply lost. Backtracked north through shaded path most of day. Creature real. A girl! Saw her from clearing looking up into tree shading eyes with both hands. Only one so far. Girl I mean. Lovely as a dream. Vanished when I reached thick of dead trees with live marching vine. Will continue north in river? Unobstructed rogue meteor shower startling in the silence of the night. So much to live for yet. Must keep on. Must. I love you forever, my beloved Emma.

June 7th.

[stronger, written in expert draftsman hand] Cat and mouse for couple of days since the first yellow dawn. I am the mouse. She, a stealth cat in tree tops. Should not have violated her territory. Her territory apparently in triangle of two trees and shallow blue pond. What kind of territory is that? Vicious, but beautiful as a princess. She caught me not so playfully, slashing, and I blacked out. Woke up on pristine beach where she dragged me. Tracks like those of kids sledding from top of a hill. Last of gauze held with vine. Told her it was too tight, but she just looked at me with tilted head. Offered princess last tin of beef from pack. She just looked away expressionless as though recalling a lost memory. When I rose and released the shutter with failing flash she angrily pulled knife and gestured to sand, so I dropped. (Definitely no lineage to Paris Hilton).

Removed a gold band from her left arm and wrapped it on my right while knife at throat. The untrust in her eyes hurt more than any open wound. What is this band? Protection from angry tribe or Gods? Or..a marriage ceremony? "I do." Returned at dusk and watching me write as she squats near fire devouring rabbit. She gave me most of the meat. The tight gold band is making my hand fall asleep. Trying to remove it. Pointing knife at me and smiling now.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

5 neat guys

Because you haven't laughed today...
another fav from SCTV...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

the morgue

Lindsay Lohan being sentenced to the HAM(Hospital and Morgue) program seems a little stiff to me. I know - there's 2 jokes there already. I'll let 'em pass. I sincerely hope it makes a difference in her life so she doesn't join the newly formed Dead Before 30 club with Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger.

I believe it might work, because Lohan admitted once on the Tonight Show to being scared easily. Of course, we all react differently. Me? Whilst making a delivery to the local Pathology Lab and Slab recently I made a wrong turn down a unfamiliar hallway and found myself lost. Backtracking the wrong way into deeper dark brick tunnels lit by buzzing dim neon lights, I ran smack dab into a stretcher with a partially unzipped body bag. Just the outline of a body with those feet jutted out at 45 degree angles was enough to...well, you can guess.

Anyway, I hope that visit, along with the ER experience, shocks her to the point where her hair metamorphoses back to that beautiful red again, back to a time when her movies made my young niece happy....with her membership revoked from any deadly club...and she can die of old age instead.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

is print dying?

At first the thought horrified me. The image of Fahrenheit 451, with fugitives memorizing outlawed books and the book police with dull little red lights visible at 10 feet on their motor vehicles and sirens as shrill as smoke detectors with weak batteries.

But I the future of books - online, and with the 'green' generation of "oh, it damages the environment," winding(whining) its way to the forefront(completely forgetting, of course, recycling) - going to be left to little devices like Amazon's Kindle?

Not for me, friend. That would be like wheeling an iron lung the size of a refrigerator around just to keep breathing. Besides, it wouldn't be as enjoyable visiting used-book stores anymore searching for babes in black dark-rimmed glasses. Not dragging my iron lung around, no sir!

And then there's the scent of a book. Dear Reader Of Books, I don't need to tell you the love of the wisping aroma turn of a yellow-worn page. And I really don't mind finding the remnants of a mustard-dripping sandwich from the previous owner. Really.

Friday, January 18, 2008

you're not like everyone else

A long long time ago a pretty girl said this to me. I'd forgotten about it, of course, but the memory all came flooding back to me a few days ago when I heard this line towards the end of this great indie movie, Juno. At that time long ago I'd taken it as a compliment - after all, she was smiling when she said it. Heck, I remember just being amazed such a beautiful girl even knew my first name.

Ellen Page, as Juno, delivers it with the same tone and expression, although in a different context. I believe at that moment though, right when I swallowed my gum, is where I nudged the film up a category from good to great. But not only for that one scene. Did I know a girl with a sharp wit like Juno back in high school? Yes, I did. Unfortunately, she was not the one that delivered the magic line. She always was the one I wanted instead of the cheerleader-type.

However, Juno just meshed and rang true all the same. I've read many a review online how Juno's dialogue, written by Diablo Cody, wasn't 'natural,' or that she was incapable of emotion. Hell, this wasn't an After School Special. I think by the final fade out she realizes that solving any future crisis in her life will take a great deal more than her own cleverness.

In those final scenes that took me back to my youth, I was thinking, "just give Ellen the damn Oscar!" And, I wonder if Ellen was just playing herself in the role, having little knowledge about the actress of the woman. (I hear her next role is a one-woman show on Broadway, Ellen Page As Morgan Freggin'-Freeman!).When she appeared on Letterman awhile ago it seemed she was Juno, and I was impressed how she kept right in step with David with her top-notch wit. I thought, "Just give Ellen her own talk show!"

Ms. Page, you're not like everyone else.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

1265 Lombardi Ave.

A long-suffering Packer fan's frustration thawed out a bit at the Frozen Tundra as Green Bay slid their way back from a 14-0 deficit to advance to next Sundays NFC title game, 42-20.

After losing 2 fumbles to the Seattle Seahawks almost before I decided what to snack on, Ryan Grant munched on the Hawk defense, rushing through the blizzard for 201 yards and scoring 3 touchdowns.

It was the kind of game Brett Favre always dreamed of playing:
"I've been waiting for that for 17 years, a game where you couldn't see the field, and it was awesome - it was the most snow I've every played in."
Yes...Awesome. Besides Grant's redemption and Favre's youthful agility, the Packer defense and offensive front line was nearly at top form!

Update: Giants 21 Cowboys17
See you in Title Town USA next Sunday!

Saturday, January 12, 2008


I'll take a batch of Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies please.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

just one of those songs

Monday, January 7, 2008

crying in N.H.

I've played the tape a few times now, and I just don't see any tears from Hillary. So back off! However, there is definitely a point when she's talking that her voice falters from a belch, possibly a lobster roll backing up. I feel she can take that 'hesitation' act on the road if she loses the primary, along with her pink pant suit and fake(or real) beard, to carry on the legacy of the fabulous Foster Brooks!...

Saturday, January 5, 2008

your talk show

A late night talk show phones and requests you take over hosting duties for 1 evening. You can have 3 guests...1)someone from the movies, 2)an author/artist, and 3)a music act.
You also can choose your 4)theme song and 5)closing theme as the credits roll...

What is your dream show?
Quick! Get dressed and go!

1)Woody Allen(turns down invite; Regis takes his place)
2)Harper Lee(turns down invite; I take camera and mic out on sidewalk and ask passer's to show what they have in their pockets).
3)Norah Jones(bless her heart...she shows up).
5)Things Ain't What They Used To Be

Thursday, January 3, 2008

frozen rainbow

There was thunder in the night just before the temperature bottomed out with wind chills near 15 below.
When morning broke it was finger-tip numbing clear and there was a shard of rainbow bolt upright in the white Southeast sky like it had separated and fell to Earth.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


Seems it all has to do with fiction in one way or another, so here goes:

1)invent a new dance
2)eat meals with the same vigor as Curley Howard
3)crack the shell of my terminal shyness
4)start smoking cigars again
5)get published
6)dish out more compliments
7)to kill Bin laden
8)try not crying whenever I see young children
9)get that dream job: juggling on the radio!
10)meet J.D. Salinger

skating in the new year

...and no better way than staying up 'til the ball dropped watching Fred and Ginger's Let's Call The Whole Thing Off, from the Gershwin filled Shall We Dance.

This sequence took 4 days to shoot...and it's 'mahvelous'!

Happy New Year to you, Dear Reader!

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All original designs and text created by the author of this blog, Phil L., are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike3.0 License. All other materials remain the property of their respective owners and/or creators, unless of course they are part of the public domain.