rez-oo-mey enhancement assistance

...and I was the little boy in the hospital Babe Ruth visited and later blasted a monumental shot over the right field bleachers for...

...even though inexperienced just like our President Obama, I feel I can offer hope to your company...

...I slept with Johnny Depp...

...and my high school senior class voted me most likely to secede from the union..

[Scratch that last one. And definitely the second one. And the one with Johnny even though it's punchy poetic.]