Friday, July 16, 2010

fire!

You can't see it clearly in the photo, but the riveted metal label below in raised black letters exclaims:

Keep nozzle clear of obstructions and small animals. Do not remove pull ring with teeth. Contains Cool Whip© and milk under extreme pressure. Contents of vessel not edible. Do not use as dessert topping. Skin contact may cause irritation or weight gain. Do not inhale. Contents smell like a long car trip with the windows shut. Never yell fire! in a crowded theater unless the movie sucks. Refrain from letting neighbor borrow unit. Remember what happened when you loaned them your lawnmower? Empty gas tank. Righto. Never cared for your neighbor and can't understand why you don't move. They're loud and did you know they go through your mail?

19 Comments:

Blogger madamebutterfly said...

Nice post!

7/17/2010 2:38 AM  
Blogger ninotaziz said...

I am glad too...What a twist!

I enjoyed my visit.

7/17/2010 4:16 AM  
Blogger kathew said...

clever clever you- hilarious too!

7/17/2010 10:48 AM  
Blogger Helen said...

Priceless!!!

7/17/2010 12:59 PM  
Blogger signed...bkm said...

Fun read...clever Magpie!!! ..bkm

7/17/2010 2:48 PM  
Blogger christine said...

What a hoot I always wondered what the tiny wording said on fire extinguishers!! LOL
very funny

Christine

7/17/2010 2:49 PM  
Blogger RNSANE said...

Very funny...I always wondered about my neighbors, too.

7/17/2010 2:57 PM  
Blogger willow said...

You're pretty close, Phil, but you forgot "protect from frost". Thanks for the giggles!

7/17/2010 5:07 PM  
Blogger Catalyst said...

Laughter ensues and echoes against the walls! Great job, Phil!

7/17/2010 8:25 PM  
Blogger RA said...

Very witty! :)

7/18/2010 10:46 AM  
Blogger Patience said...

hilarious, especially liked the part about the long car trip with the windows rolled up. Great Magpie.

7/18/2010 10:47 AM  
Blogger Lena said...

I'm in absolute stitches here! 'Do not use as a dessert topping'..... Classic!

7/18/2010 1:27 PM  
Blogger The Bug said...

I love it! But now I have a strange craving for an ice cream sundae...

7/18/2010 9:02 PM  
Blogger steviewren said...

Nice lot of advice and well worth adhering to. I promise to never loan my fire extinguisher to my neighbors....or use it for a dessert topping.

7/19/2010 11:45 AM  
Blogger Brian Miller said...

haha. brilliant magpie!

7/19/2010 11:52 AM  
Blogger Lyn said...

It's good to be able to blame something for all our problems..and laughter heals!!

7/19/2010 12:01 PM  
Blogger Tumblewords: said...

I have a passion for weird warning labels - you've written a winner here - it could be decal'd onto many items! :)

7/19/2010 4:08 PM  
Blogger ~T~ said...

May I remove the pull ring with the teeth of small animals? Thanks for clearing up the fine print!

7/20/2010 12:55 AM  
OpenID soundoffreedom said...

great instructions!

7/20/2010 10:00 AM  

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