Friday, August 6, 2010

stone garden


The dog won’t go beyond the lush overgrowth since Tatyana died.
She is still there you know.
Sometimes the wind unexpectedly becomes brisk and stone steps feel cold with an unwelcome notion even in the unending rays of August heat.

Alive, young and delicate, dancing barefoot she’d pretend the hot steps would lead to her very own grass roof cottage. Holding the can high she’d ask me to watch her pour long streams of coolness onto the stone steps holding the watering can in both hands like a wizard just to watch it evaporate, the stones turning white and clean, the path safely cleared down to her secret cottage nestled like a miniature fort in the tall thick grass.

Now the dog stops and bows at the rotted gate like she’s waiting, then suddenly lifts her head making eye contact with the invisible. I shudder as I watch a young girl’s footprints sink into the ground and recede into the distance. The rottenness smells of death, the dog cowers behind my legs, the water can has a cobweb echo, its spout rudely pointing intruders to leave, and nothing matters anymore.

20 Comments:

Blogger kathew said...

Well done-love the footprints!

8/06/2010 1:36 AM  
Blogger nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Love it well done!

8/06/2010 6:03 AM  
Blogger Aoife.Troxel said...

Slightly frightening but amazingly fresh and sweet. :)

8/06/2010 9:27 AM  
Blogger Jingle said...

cute magpie.

8/06/2010 10:34 AM  
Blogger Krunal Palande said...

eerie but lovely

8/06/2010 12:12 PM  
Blogger Helen said...

I can see her dancing barefoot ~ lovely Magpie!

8/06/2010 12:28 PM  
Blogger annell said...

You certainly created a mood in this little piece. Thank you.

8/06/2010 3:50 PM  
Blogger Angie Muresan said...

I got goosebumps! Great writing, great story.

www.angiemuresan.com

8/06/2010 4:10 PM  
Blogger Tumblewords: said...

Atmospheric and lovely!

8/06/2010 7:34 PM  
Blogger Dianne said...

Wow... Nicely done....

8/06/2010 9:55 PM  
Blogger ninotaziz said...

She is still there you know.

I do know.

And I love it!

8/07/2010 3:54 AM  
Blogger Brian Miller said...

deliciously creepy...the footprints receding..and spout pointing...both brilliant...nice magpie...

8/07/2010 6:25 AM  
Blogger willow said...

Haunting. And very Willow Manor-ish. I like to stand on this step and rinse my feet with the garden hose. There is a deserted bomb shelter just beyond the grass, where a former owner used to have card parties with her friends in the summer. Next time, I'll look for the footprints.

8/07/2010 1:19 PM  
Blogger Lyn said...

Always trust the dog to see what isn't there..but will always be..nice story!

8/07/2010 4:24 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

Delightfully ghostly. Loved the footprints.

8/07/2010 9:12 PM  
Blogger Baino said...

Nice, more sad than creepy, dogs know stuff! I have nothing for this one . .

8/07/2010 9:22 PM  
Blogger rebecca said...

Excellent! Loved this, "a young girl’s footprints sink into the ground and recede into the distance. The rottenness smells of death."

Thought about expanding this? There's a story here. A very good story....

8/08/2010 8:51 AM  
OpenID 1sojournal said...

Really good read, and well written. Love how you immediately introduce the suspense with the dog's refusal to go there. Like this one a lot.

Elizabeth

8/08/2010 10:32 PM  
Blogger Chrissy said...

Haunting! What did he have to do with the young girl's death? For surely he would not be spooked if he was innocent... it must be his own conscious that haunts him...

8/09/2010 1:11 AM  
Blogger signed...bkm said...

good write, though i am sorry that it did not have a happy ending....excellent magpie..bkm

8/09/2010 1:39 AM  

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