your guide to stealing signals

Seeing how the New England Patriots are stealing signals, I thought I'd provide for you, dear reader, a guide to help you follow their modus operandi in their game this Sunday.

These are the signals they are anxiously watching the sidelines for:

• Touching ear once --- nickel defense
  
• Touching ear, knee, ear --- Safety Blitz
  
• Nose rub --- prevent defense!
  
• Nose, both ears --- get a load of that ugly cheerleader
  
• Hiking of the crotch --- level that sideline mousy spy with the binoculars
  
• Hand behind back --- watch your backside: Senator Craig, 4th row, seat 436, heading to men's restroom
  
• Egyptian stance --- papa oom mow mow
  
• Covering eyes with hand --- it's true - their coach does prefer sheep!
  
• Finger to Lips --- sneak up behind and yank the cord on that fat guy on the ladder
  

There you go!