the dead guy

the dead guy...this Fall, Wednesdays at 8PM.

Episode 1:

Fade in.

Interviewer: Tell me, Doctor, where was he found?

Dr. Margaret Beakersnifter:[voice similar to Marlin Perkins] On a plateau, on a cliff, a hollow cave-like opening high up in the mountains.

Interviewer: He seems well-preserved, as preserves goes ..don't you think?

Dr. Beakersnifter: Yes. [pushes glasses back up nose] I think I know why.

Interviewer: Tell me, please, Doctor.

Dr. Beakersnifter: Of course. You see. The ice and snow gathered at that particular plateau and was constant, unlike other areas of the mountain where ice and snow thalled and there was a runoff. Simply, where this fella was found it was frozen...for centuries.

Interviewer: How did the fella die?

Dr. Beakersnifter: I can only guess. Perhaps. Food poisoning. Maybe. Bad batch of Stew? [long pause, moves in closer, peers through magnifying glass] But interestingly...

Interviewer: The agony!

Dr. Beakersnifter: Interestingly...

Interviewer: Yes?

Dr. Beakersnifter: There was no penis.

Interviewer: Excuse me?

Dr. Beakersnifter: I couldn't find his penis.

Interviewer: It must've been...

Dr. Beakersnifter:[shaking head, frustrated] I couldn't find his penis.

[break away to first commercial..Dinty Moore Beef Stew!]